The headline of this piece is a colloquial expression meaning something is crazy, foolish or strange, or that someone is acting irrationally or eccentrically. Speaking of nuts, have you ever wondered why bananas, nuts and crackers are the only foods associated with being crazy? If you wish to explore this further, read Dan Nosowitzʼs April 13, 2018, article, headlined ʻAn investigation into how three snacks became associated with madnessʼ.

What’s nuts, you might wonder? No, not what the fruit is, but rather who is responsible for the ‘what’s nuts?’ Apologies to regular readers – yes, it is a rhetorical question. It is none other than the International Trade Administration Commission of South Africa (Itac). It’s mind-boggling why Southern African Customs Union (Sacu) member States allow it to determine tariff and trade policy on their behalf.

For this week’s gem – more a tragedy, actually – I will direct you to the Government Gazette. If you are still not reading it, I must ask why. Gone are the days when you had to trek to the Government Printer on Bosman street in Pretoria. This building, once a prison, is where Daisy de Melker served her sentence for poisoning two husbands and her son with strychnine for their life insurance money. No, you no longer have to explore the insides of an old prison; you can simply surf the Internet. Still sounds like too much effort? Well, here goes.

You simply had to search the Government Gazette of March 7 for Itac’s ‘Customs tariff applications’ to find ‘List 01/2025’. Only it is not ‘List 01/2025’, as it was published on January 24 – but who’s counting?

Do you still want to know what’s nuts? On March 7, a notice appeared for the withdrawal of the application for an increase in the ‘General’ rate of customs duty on roasted groundnuts. The South African Groundnuts Forum brought the application on behalf of C Steinweg Bridge, which initially lodged the application with Itac. No news here, I hear you say; this guy is only after a catchy headline. But rewind 1 512 days. Yes, as it said on the rented video cassette recorder tapes, “Be kind, rewind.” If maths is not your strong suit, the date you are looking for is January 15, 2021. In the Government Gazette published on that day, C Steinweg Bridge applied for a duty increase, reasoning: “Low-cost roasted groundnut imports are undercutting the prices of the like product produced in the Southern African Customs Union, thus placing [this region’s] industry in distress.

“These imports originate primarily from Argentina, Brazil and India. In addition, these imports adversely affect the Sacu groundnut growers, whose farming production is reduced by a factor of 1:1.15 for each kilogram of imported roasted groundnuts, that is, a Sacu peanut farmer loses one ton of production for every 850 kg of roasted groundnuts imported. Roasted peanut imports thus effectively circumvent the existing tariff protection on raw peanut production.”

Ironically, there was a second application in the Government Gazette, lodged by RCL Foods, for an increase in the rate of customs duty on peanut butter. Yes, quite a spread in the gazette. I’m not sure what happened to that application; Itac’s ‘Investigation Reports’ search function revealed nothing. So, is it still under investigation?

Back to the future: “C Steinweg Bridge, representing the Sacu industry in applying for an amendment to the customs duty on roasted groundnuts, as indicated above, has since ceased its roasted groundnut operations. C Steinweg Bridge has subsequently requested the commission to withdraw its application. This decision, according to the representatives of the applicant, was ostensibly influenced by a range of operational and other factors, including, but not limited to, the prolonged uncertainty surrounding the decision on the amendment of the customs duty. The applicant alleges that such uncertainty has affected the viability of [its] business model.”

‘Prolonged uncertainty’? Well, according to Itac, “it now takes the commission generally four months for sectors in distress and six months for normal investigations”.

So, how many times do 122 and 183 go into 1 512?